I Believe I Can FLY

This post is about two songs. The first song is one I think we all know. It's called "I Believe I Can Fly" by R Kelly. The lyrics are powerful.

I Believe I Can Fly

I used to think that I could not go on

And life was nothing but an awful song

But now I know the meaning of true love

I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it

If I just believe in it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly

I believe I can touch the sky

I think about it every night and day

Spread my wings and fly away

I believe I can soar

I see me running through that open door 

I believe I can fly

I believe I can fly

I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down

Sometimes silence can seem so loud

There are miracle in life I must achieve

But first I know it starts inside of me

If I can see it,  Then I can be it

If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly

I believe I can touch the sky

I think about every night and day

Spread my wings and just fly away

I believe I can soar

I see me running through that open door

I believe I can fly

I believe I can fly

I believe I can fly

This song is me in so many ways! "I used to think I could not go on".

When I was referred to pain management I felt like my doctor was giving up on me, but my friend Morgan came through and told me she thought the same thing when he doctor referred her to pain management. She said that's not true at all. He is just trying to get my pain under control. I obviously need this pain management because I'm in pain all the time. I guess I felt like my body was giving up and that i was giving up on my dreams. I knew I couldn't function well on pain medicine and I just knew I would have to rely on my parents for everything. Little did I know that I would be able to live a semi functional life while on pain management. The meds don't control me like I thought they would. 

I thought my "life was nothing but an awful song". My life has been pure hell for the past three years. I was and still am in so much pain all the time. I had been called a drug addict for seeking help for my pain. I had to quit my job because I couldn't even make it 4 hours. As a result, I had to apply for disability. I'm 24 years old. I shouldn't have to go through this. 

"But now I know the meaning of true love. I'm leaning on the everlasting arms". God loves me so much. I'm giving all my sickness, problems, and stress to Him! I'm leaning on him and you know what? HE WANTS ME TO! 

I wasn't on the verge of a breakdown... I did breakdown. Being alone was the worst thing for me. But now I have a husband who keeps me going. I have a puppy that keeps me on my toes. I have a gorgeous step daughter (10) and her half sister (6) they bring me so much joy. Yeah sometimes I just want to sit on my bed and sob but they truly make me happy.  I just try to keep myself busy. Now I believe I can fly. I just have to believe I can. 

The next song is called "Fly" by Nicki Minaj and Rhianna. I just love Rhianna's part in this song. 

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive

I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise

To fly, to fly

Like I said I absolutely love this part. This is how I'm starting to live my life. I WILL win, conquer, fight, thrive, survive, prosper, rise, and to FLY! I WILL BEAT THIS!

The TV show Glee did a mashup of the two songs and you can listen to it by clicking Glee.